#16: More of everything

“Santa, it’s time for one of our little talks.”

“Oh, what is it, boss?”

“I designated you as the bookkeeper, the broker, and the manager. At the time, it was a whimsical selection. I used my whims. But now, you’re kind of a big deal.”

“Indeed, boss. We have nearly 40 dwarves here, and they need someone to give them guidance. And we can’t tell the difference between your whims and your punishable-by-nickname demands, so there it is.”

“Ok then hot shot, answer me this. You’re the bookkeeper. How many bars of metal do we have?”

“Tenish.”

“Tenish? Excuse me?”

“About ten. Around there.”

“What’s ‘around there‘? Do I have ten or not? I’m trying to plan a metal industry here, whether our military gets metal shields or wooden ones.”

“Well, you could have 5 or you could have 14, it’s not really clear.”

“Not really clear? Now I know you dwarves don’t have any quantum mechanical stuff going on there (for fear of losing my sanity), so why isn’t it just one number? The difference between having 5 bars of metal and having 14 bars of metal is a lot!”

“Oh, boss, I thought you’d never ask.”

She gets as cold stare from me.

“See, up until now, you’ve had me doing all this accounting and bookkeeping in addition to my other tasks. And I was happy enough, while passing to and fro addressing your other whims, to look in bins and barrels briefly and estimate what I saw. And occasionally I’d jot this down when I got a chance.”

“Yeah, enough story-time, get to my numbers.”

“Well if you want an answer that’s better than just one digit of precision, I’m going to need an office.”

“What?! Why you conniving little dwarfy… Look around! We are way too busy for me to stop and somehow make you an office! Even I don’t have an office.”

“But all those numbers. It requires so much calculating“, she pleads, “and you know we dwarves are not good at that.”

I try to stare her down to a compromise, but she’s not having it.

“Then tenish metal bars it is.”

Grrr. “Fine. You can use this chair, in the dining hall, to do your numbers.”

“And I get to call it an office.”

“Yes. Whatever. Just get me some estimates of our stocks that aren’t crap.”

“And don’t let that musk-ox break your concentration.”

I had created a squad of three military dwarves, but when sparring it leaves one dwarf always sitting and watching. So Kol, the slow-talking 2nd wave hauler gets promoted to future marksdwarf and greatly speeds up sparring practice.

After giving it some thought, I realized that in assigning new labors, I didn’t take into account wanting dwarves to get good at their tasks. So instead of scattershotting everyone on everything, I tried to remove dwarves from attempting tasks that had several experts better than them. Skills that have no one of the 2nd rank or higher still get scattershot treatment, and whomever ends up gaining the most skill there will get to continue doing so and have some of their other responsibilities lessened.

I also decided that any dwarf with skills gets exempted from all hauling tasks. At the moment that would appear to mean a skill of the 5th rank or higher, or if you’re on the critical path to clearing out a level (the stonewasters).

Here are the 59 changes.

And at the moment, the list of jobs and tasks to be done in the fortress is down to 125.

With four miners all focused on nothing but mining, progress is made. Some of the housing floor gets dug out, and it has some pretty blue (but otherwise ordinary) stone. As soon as I see a room get fully dug (which takes a while with the dwarves following wherever the stone is talking to them), I designate a bed and a door to be installed.

As soon as this happens, Steenky wastes no time.

Instead of using one of the twenty beds in the communal room, he uses this undesignated room and its bed. Note, his lover Santa is asleep in the communal bedroom. Lovers quarrel perhaps?

This was right after Steenky finished making a meal (I reauthorized some very light cooking, hoping that with so many more haulers and organization, a meal wouldn’t be left out to rot). He chose to combine minced mountain goat meat with minced mountain goat meat. Delicious. Maybe he lived up to his nickname and was kicked out of the communal bedroom?

After a bit, the list of jobs to be done is down to just 75. What an impressive reduction. I can almost keep track of all the various things I’ve asked the dwarves to do.

Once again, it’s time to recognize Feb.

Feb is the first dwarf to achieve 20th rank in a skill, Legendary +5 Miner, while also being Very Strong, Very Tough, and Unbelievably Agile. Her tremendous skill in mining will be an essential part of our success in accomplishing my goals.

Next closest dwarves are Sleepy the 11th rank miner, Snipey the 10th rank marksdwarf, and Ike the 9th rank woodsman.

Out at the farms, we have our biggest crop yet.

Look at all those planted Prickle Berries. Something about getting prickles stuck in your throat while eating fruit really appeals to my dwarves. Well they make food and wine, so I’m content for now.

Spring finally ends (it seems like it lasted forever), and Summer brings a new season of crops to plant and harvest.

Oh the strange things we find in our mountain.

Soon, the whole world will fear my arsenal. Or not.

And then some more strangers want in on my sweet stone craft action.

Great. Humans. The merchant (on the right) looks like an asshole. With his big stupid human hat and his big stupid human belt buckle. “Aww shucks,” he’ll say, “what can I do to put you in this fine used auto today?” And then I’ll punch him in the face. Also, I will sell him stone toys.

The merchants bring two wagon and two camels worth of stuff. Oh boy!

This time, I’m hoping to snag more seeds, some weapons or armor, any cloth or rope, and cages and animals.

Ack!

Every time a caravan comes, it seems a bunch of parasites come along as well. Apparently this goblin wants to steal our children? Well, they’re kind of worthless at the moment, but I suppose I don’t want it to happen. Let’s see if he turns tail and runs like the kobolds do once spotted.

Yup.

And then it gets too close to the incoming humans and gets slaughtered.

The human diplomat wants to meet with Santa, but she decides she needs her beauty sleep first.

There, in her brand new private bedroom, she’s sleeping. And the human diplomat just barges right on in and starts blabbing on about trade deficits and protectionism and embargoes and who knows what. But Santa’s a dwarf. She’s built for sleeping. Or perhaps the humans did not get the memo about how much booze these dwarves drink every single day.

Meanwhile, the parasites don’t stop.

This goblin got all the way to my main intersection. But all around him are Stone Traps. These are basically giant boulders set to fall if anyone triggers the trap. All my dwarves are smart and don’t trigger them.

But the goblin doesn’t know.

Sadly, instead of testing his luck, he realizes he’s spotted and climbs up the stairs and exits out the top. But that’s why those traps are there, for anyone climbing down from the currently-open top area.

Back to trading, The humans give a slightly different pitch: “On behalf of the Merchant Guild, let me extend greetings to your people. There is much to discuss.”

“What requests do you have of our merchants?” I indicate, with the lowest priority, several of the necessities, including stuff that we make, but can’t seem to make enough of.

He then reviews our craftsdwarfship and sets some prices on our goods. The only area of interest is amulets at +14%.

He bids farewell, so I can actually get to the trading. But not before calling us “stout dwarves“. Oh yeah? You got some mouth on you, just like that little dwarf diplomat did.

I have about 3,000 in value to trade. Here’s what I get:

• Trifle pewter bar for 20
• Sterling silver bar for 40
• Nickle bar for 30
• Cat in a cage for 30
• Another cat in a cage for 30
• Cedar cage for 10
• Kapok cage for 20
• 3 barrels for 40
• Bronze battle axe for 80 (for wood chopping)
• 20 pieces of miscellaneous leather for 195
• 2 bronze picks for 120 each (for mining)
• Leather bag for 10
• Cloth for 34
• 30 pieces of meat for 2 each
• 2 pieces of thread for 12 each

And at this point I still have 1,400 in value to trade. I just go crazy and load up on all sorts of thread, leather, rope, and bags. Effectively, I transmuted the stone that was littering the storage level into leather and some cloth. Commerce!

Now Thob, a jeweler migrant with the 3rd wave, starts feeling funky.

So, not unexpectedly, she goes and claims the Jeweler’s Workshop (which wasn’t working on anything at the time).

She goes and grabs some of the rough moss agates (green gems) the miners recently ran into. Then she grabs some shell opals (gray gems) we also dug up at some point. Next, she rushes out to grab a couple of groundhog bones.

Back at the Jeweler’s Workshop, she begins her “mysterious construction“. Given her ingredients, I can kind of guess how this will turn out. Like a kindergartner’s arts & crafts project. Sure, honey, that pile of noodles, popsicle sticks, and paste is a masterpiece!

A moss agate chain adorned with bone rings and moss agate spikes. Note that this isn’t a piece of chain jewelry. This is a big hefty chain, that you would attach to a prisoner you would throw in a dungeon. Well this artifact just sounds delightful, if you’re a dwarf. It is, of course, of no use beyond its 18,000 value which will no doubt make me a prime target for fast-talking stylishly-dressed thieves. Also, where did this lowly dwarf learn about the history of the very first year? I know I ain’t got no book in my fortress.

But as for Thob…

She just got stronger, more agile, and a heck of a lot more tough while immediately becoming a Legendary Gem Setter (16th rank). That’s a pretty useless skill, all told. But why not, I tell her to go about encrusting things with gems.

Work at the dwarf fortress continues, but mysteries continue to arise.

???