#14: When it rains it pours

“DWARVES!!” I call out through the ever-growing halls.

“I have too much stone!”

“Look at this room right here! Of the 121 squares I designated to be dug for our new storage area, 98 have been dug. But of those 98 dug squares, I have just 17 squares that don’t have stone in them!”

“First of all, Feb, as the top miner, explain why you left this room so haphazardly dug out. What is this pattern you left behind?”

“I go where the stone speaks to me, boss”, she explains matter-of-factly, “and the stone said to dig here, then dig there, and this is the result.”

OK, I suppose one could go a little crazy down there doing all this digging… “Alright, but really, must so much plain stone be left behind?”

An audible gasp immediately rises from the miners.

“Sir! We. Are. Dwarves. We do not waste stone, boss. Never speak of this again.” Some mouths on these dwarves.

“Fine, fine, I get it. If I ask you to dig, I’m going to get a lot of stone.” Sometimes I think this job isn’t worth what they’re paying me. Wait. What are they paying me?

“Bah! Do any dwarves have any ideas on how to make good use of all this stone?”

Santa speaks up. “We could build temporary masonry or craftsdwarf workshops in those rooms and use them to exhaust the supplies and produce fine doors, chairs, and crafts.”

“Hmm, true, but it would take a single dwarf working for several seasons to clear just one room, and we don’t have that many dwarves.”

She’s anxious to help solve the problem, though. “Alright, well I noticed you are digging a new refuse location 2 levels above the main level, and that it will need to be made fortified. Building those walls around the surrounding areas could put many of these stones to good use.”

“Ah, now there’s a good idea.” I pat the little dwarf on her industrious and grizzled head. “I have seen the effect that building the walls in the entryway and around the farm has had on clearing those areas of stray stones. Of course, this too is limited by available masons, and the diggers haven’t decided to go up and dig that area out yet.”

Santa nods in understanding. She may just be patronizing me, though. I’m sure to the dwarves, having piles of loose stone everywhere they go is like some sort of blessing.

“Very well, I shall employ both of your suggestions as soon as the areas are dug out enough for them.” Maybe that will curry their favor a bit in case I need to screw them over or have an accidental screw-up.

A new season means new seeds need planting on the farms. I draft the haulers into farming once again, and they’re on the job.

That’s three plots of Quarry Bush being planted right there by three haulers. I figured I was doing alright on food and drink, so why not try something different like the neat-sounding Quarry Bush?

I design a diabolical new entryway.

The big room on the left will be the archery practice range. The long winding path will be the only route into the fortress if the drawbridge is raised (and after I wall off the farms and new refuse dump). Arrow slits (fortifications) carved into the walls will allow the archers to shoot at the invaders while they charge back and forth down the long corridors. I’ll line the snakey part at the top with traps for invaders who get that far.

Of course, so far we’ve been attacked by all of one kobold who lasted all of two seconds once he appeared, but I’d rather be safe with my dwarvey dwarves.

I designate too much digging to do. Thankfully, Feb has reached 16th rank “Legendary+1 Miner” status and can clear out a whole room in what seems like a few seconds, 99% of the time leaving stone behind in each square.

Elves!

An elven caravan from Eyazaeletha has arrived. Fucking elves.

Well, I’ve done this trading thing once before, so I try to be smarter about it

• Steenky will have to be available to meet with the liaison for a while
• Santa will have to be available for trading
• I will need to move everything I want to trade to the Trade Depot.

I queue up mainly the various crafts and whatnots. Also gems, just in case. Since everything’s in bins, it’s only three objects to move. I’d rather not part with anything that’s really “useful” right now. If they’re willing to pay 180% price on some items that are “useful”, I’ll consider adding them in. But we’ll see what they have to trade.

I’d certainly like a wider selection of seeds, plants I don’t have any seeds for yet. Some animals to put in cages and make a zoo from would be good. And cheap things that would be trade practice for Santa. Anything that’s cheap and heavy lightens their load to buy my goods.

The elves and their horribly ugly giant pointy ears bring no wagons, just two mules and two merchants. No guards, either.

But first!

Another kobold thief, same equipment. This time it’s Uvash, the new, but “tough” miner who’s adjacent to the kobold and was building a section of wall at the time. The fortress is in a very indefensible stage as I’m still walling off openings (like the farms).

Snipey’s off in the hills, asleep with one dog. But Lor the Dog is in the dining room.

I activate Uvash and Snipey for military duty.

Uvash looks all tough ready to wield her mining pick.

The kobold takes a step back and Uvash rushes him!

They’re both stunned! No other injuries so far.

After a bit, Uvash is the first one to recover from being stunned, but the Kobold recovers a moment later.

The kobold steps back again!

Uvash swings and gets first blood!

It’s a minor injury to the lower body, but it’s blood.

Next, Uvash bruises the Kobold’s right hand. That’s the Kobold’s weapon hand.

With a wild swing, Uvash’s pick lands on the Kobold’s left arm.

That’s a broken left lower arm and some pain.

In the Kobold’s “inventory” is a surprise.

Uvash got her mining pick stuck in the left forearm of the Kobold with her mighty swing! Will she be able to pull it out? Will she have to resort to wrestling for the rest of the fight?

The pain turns into “extreme pain”. Uvash remains untouched.

After a moment more, the Kobold is knocked unconscious (perhaps from the pain of its broken left arm).

And Uvash finishes the job with her pick.

For his heroism while just trying to build a wall, and her wild hacking and slashing at the kobold with her mining pick, Uvash earns the nickname Hacker.

Hacker just goes back to work building the wall. What a good dwarf!

Back to trading! Here’s the partial trade list.

The gnomeblight draws the most attention, but I ask my dwarves and they tell me it’s of no use. Apparently gnomes got a tolerance to it?

That birchen puzzlebox is superior quality, encircled with finely-crafted Maple bands, and has an exceptionally-designed image of diamonds made out of Pine. Fancy. Santa’ll make something that fancy one day, you just wait.

Some items of interest:

• Willow barrel for 10
• Rope reed bag for 80
• Well-crafted cedar cage decorated with superior-quality Alder for 60
• Rope reed cloth for 34 (18 of them)
• Prickle berries, 10 for 5
• Wild strawberries, 20 for 5

Summing up all of my goods, I have a value of 661, so I should be able to procure a good bit.

• I start with the strawberries, trading well-crafted scepter and earrings. Oh grandpa.
• Next, for practice, it’s the willow barrel for a well-crafted goat skull totem.
• Now the prickle berries for a well-crafted stone crown.
• A fancy cage would be great for a zoo. I get it in exchange for the first kobold’s silk loincloth and a superior-crafted stone idol.
• It would be good to get my cloth industry going, but I have no appropriate plants. These items snag a roll of cloth each.
  • Finely-crafted toy axe and well-crafted earring.
  • Kobold’s leather tunic and a bracelet.
  • Finely-crafted toy axe, a rock trumpet, and a mug.
  • (for 2 cloth) Well-crafted crown, ring, earring, puzzlebox, amulet, and an ordinary earring.
  • (for 2 cloth) Well-crafted idol, 2 mugs, a turquoise crown, and an ordinary mini-forge and idol.

And that’s it. I choose to keep 170 worth of ordinary items for future trading (cheap stuff is good for optimizing the trades). I should be able to get 7 new bags out of that cloth. As a parting gift, I offer them hunk of claystone, weighing 801 pounds, as a free gift (value: 3).

Fucking elves.

OK, everyone back to work!

Not so fast!

Another kobold thief! This time, it’s Zon the craftsdwarf, Big Fath the farmer, Santa, and her lover Steenky, that are nearby. Snipey’s far to the north with her dogs. The miners are all back near the central intersection, and Ike (and his axe) are asleep in the barracks.

Given how rapidly the last two kobold fights have gone, I deputize Zon and Big Fath, and hope they can take it unarmed.

The kobold gets the first strike in, bruising Zon’s right hand. But then the kobold runs away!

Zon recovers from her bruise, takes off after it, and out in the countryside, well past the farms, he catches it and begins wrestling it.

Some minor injuries to the upper body and left upper leg, and a bruised right upper arm.

Next, Zon stuns it. When the kobold recovers, it tries to run away again.

Zon catches, it “breaks” it’s upper body (bad ass!) and has it in Pain.

She bruises its lower body next, then its right calf. It tries to escape once more, but it falls unconscious.

Zon continues to pound on it, mangling its left bicep, breaking its left forearm, injuring its liver (now that’s a punch!) and shoulder, and bruising its elbow!

The fists keep flying.

She keeps at it, mangling the entire left arm, and finally scoring the kill.

For displaying uncommon valor, frightening blood lust, unstoppable tiny fists of rage, and running down a kobold from behind, she earns the nickname Zippy.  I expect all my dwarves to brutally beat and mangle any enemy they come across.  But running a smaller, more agile opponent down, in the open field?  That’s uncommon dwarviness.

But that’s it, no more nicknames from kobolds. In three tries, all they’ve done is run away and bruise the hand of one dwarf who recovered within seconds.

The dwarves stand supreme against all comers!